“I want her.” Little white Soul said.
“Why her?” Dark Silhouette asked?
“I have an option to choose the baby whom I give life to, that means I choose my parents. And I want her.” Answered the tiny creature.
“What about the man?”
“I don’t really care about him.”
“So you don’t care about your future father?”
“I will care for him, but I am choosing this family because of her.” Soul flew closer to the screen, which was showing a Woman, sobbing into her pillow. The tiny creature tilted its form. It felt for the girl. She looked so fragile and so broken.
“I will ask you again,” said Silhouette, “why her?”
“She’s 24 years old and her Soul is exhausted. She’s been through so much in the little time she’s on Earth. It’s something in her sobbing that’s calling for me. I think I can be her happiness.”
Silhouette looked closer at Woman and then at the tiny Soul.
“You have been around for quite some time now. You’re over 500 years old. Why help her?”
“I have learned so much in my lifetimes, each life I lived to the fullest and each life I was taught a valuable Lesson.” Soul stared into the sobbing Woman.
“But how is helping her going to guide you to the Lesson you’re supposed to learn in this next life?”
“Ah, yes. I am supposed to learn something. I am supposed to learn about confidence and build courage, defeat all my fears and learn how to be strong. I don’t know, honestly.” It looked away. Soul was rethinking its decision. Maybe I am choosing the wrong family. It said to itself. However this feeling inside, tiny creature could not ignore; a fire burning in it, somehow it was drawn to Woman, to her pain. It felt guild, as if it was its duty to lift the pain off her shoulders. The in-explainable desire to make her life better.
“What happens if I don’t get the Lesson I am destined to get?” Soul turned to Silhouette. Its worried expression scared the tiny creature. “What do I have to lose?”
“You lose yourself. You disappear. If you die and the life you left behind didn’t teach you anything you cannot continue to live. You will never be able to choose another family again. You will be send to Limbo.” Silhouette turned expressionless. “I will ask you again, Soul. Why her?”
“I’ve been with her before. She wasn’t my mother, but I can feel her soul. It speaks to me. It’s my friend. I can’t remember her, not just quite yet, but I am certain that we encountered before. And it pains me to see a friend crying.”
Silhouette said nothing. It stared at the screen behind Soul. It couldn’t understand, why would one sacrifice everything for a friend. It didn’t make sense. “You know what is written for this life you’re about to live? You are destined to be great, to be powerful, to be known. For the first time in 500 years you are truly going to leave your mark on Earth. You were always just a human, living their life, being mundane, learning the Lesson. This is really important. This is your chance. You can pick whoever you want, you can pick famous parents and it would be so easy to achieve your goal.”
“But it’s not supposed to be easy, is it? Every life I lived I struggled to have what I wanted, I worked hard and I learned the hard way. I don’t think it’s supposed to be easy, why should it be like that this time. It’s not different, it’s just another life, another Lesson to learn.”
“I am proud of you for saying that. So you are going to pick this woman so you can heal her wounds and in return you are going to work hard for love? Do you even know how difficult that is going to be? How painful? Think about it, now you remember everything, you remember all your lives and all you’ve been through. Once you are reborn you will lose that knowledge and it will pain you for being alone. Are you sure you are strong enough to handle loneliness? To seek love and give love but never get what you deserve in return? Are you ready for that?” Silhouette knelt to see Soul’s expression. The tiny creature quickly turned around, to avoid the gaze. It looked at the screen again. The desire to help Woman on the screen only grew.
“I had my fairy-tale love. I spent 2 lives with my Soulmate. I was happy and my entire being gets warm when I think of the times. I know that when I’m human, I won’t remember any of this. I won’t know why I picked her; perhaps I will wish I was born to another family. I might even think of death before my time, because I will feel lonely. But I am telling you, she’s the one. I am drawn to her sorrow, to her story. I have to help her.”
“And what of her story?” Asked Silhouette.
“She was forced to lose her baby. When she was only 17 years old. She was reckless and too young to take care of it.” Soul’s expression darkened.
“And you think she deserves to be saved then? You support what she did?”
“I don’t. You know I don’t. But look at her. She’s having nightmares every single night, every dream is about mourning her unborn child. It haunts her, it’s killing her. She regrets it, she knows that what she’s done was wrong and she wishes she could turn back time. And can you feel her fear? Can you feel it?” Soul encouraged Silhouette to get closer to the screen. Almost touching it Silhouette turned expressionless, trying to connect with Woman.
“She fears that she will never be able to have a child again.”
“You see, only a child can defeat that fear.” Soul touched Silhouette. It trembled and faced Soul.
“That is your reason? To be her gift?” It asked softly.
“Not as much her gift as her salvation. I know love, I’ve learned about love, I felt love. All came from my significant other. I always chose my parents according to the Lesson I was supposed to learn and I never understood why some people are so fond of their family. I want to feel that for a change. I think we can be beneficial to each other. I will be her little miracle that takes all the pain away and she will teach me how to love unconditionally. Only a mother, can truly love to that extent. True love exists, but the only pure love is from one’s mother and I want to feel that. Perhaps that’s my Lesson. I have enough experience from my past lives to cope with pain, heartbreak and even loneliness. Let this be a hard life. The past two were so beautiful. I want to see to what extent I can bring myself. I want to test myself to see how strong I’ve become in this past 500 years.” Soul looked at the screen one last time.
“You’re deepest desires, your longings, your dreams, your passion…all will be tested with this relationship, all will struggle. Are you sure?” Asked Silhouette, giving Soul one more chance to change its mind.
“I want her.” Soul said assured.
“So be it.”
Silhouette hugged Soul and sent it to Earth to its new chosen family. For nine months it waited to be born, to see what it will become. For nine months it feared that it made a mistake. However, all changed when she was born. A beautiful little girl, with pitch black hair and a small nose. Silhouette’s expression changed, with one look at Woman, it knew that everything was going to be alright. And then it heard a prayer. Silhouette knew who the prayer was from. It listened carefully.
“Thank you for giving me another chance. I prayed so often for a child and I was losing hope. I never imagined that I will be heard and that my wish would be granted. I don’t even know where to begin or what to do with all this joy. I am a mother. You blessed me with a little girl, who looks just like her loving father. When I held her for the first time, all the pain disappeared, the nightmares stopped and the smile returned to my face. Not only did I get a daughter, I got myself back. She is the apple of my eye, she is my life. She is my little hero. I love my husband, I really do, but the love I feel for her, it’s something else. It’s unconditional, it cannot be described and I am afraid that I won’t be enough for her, that I will disappoint her, because I know that she is a special child and I know she’s been given to me with a reason, so please…give me strength to give her everything in life to be happy. Give me power to make her as happy as she has made me when she cried for the first time, gasping for air. Thank you again, thank you so much.”
Silhouette brightened. Knowing that in some decades it will have the same conversation with Soul and that even after so many years it will still hear that determined voice, who couldn’t be more right: “I want her.”
Read with you later, Lara. ❤